Blog notes III

In one of his books, that teacher of mine about whom I told you last week compares Don Juan with Faust, writing that Don Juan's Love is a sport, but Faust's Love is an experience of knowledge. I couldn't agree more. Don Juan is an adventurer travelling the world, being in Love with the appearance of life, but Faust is an extremely profound figure, whose soul is so composite that you could hardly imagine anything but his love for the essence of life.

Unfortunately, nowadays, most of young men take Don Juan as an example instead of Faust, but we hope that they will gradually change at some time or other.

Faust's strongest wish is to understand the great mysteries that will remain unrevealed to others. He made a huge sacrifice following his strong desire of being different, of being what we call a Genius.

By loving Gretchen, that pure young girl, he tries to reach a superior understanding of life. He tries to know himself better by means of her love. The real love implies the strong desire of being reflected in the other one's eyes, having the feeling that nothing else matters.

Do you know why the love between Faust and Gretchen didn't resist in this world? Because they were very different. He was so ambitious, risking anything to accomplish his mission, to gain infinite knowledge - she was so pure, a figure without the minimum courage to assume any risk. He was flying - she was trudging, walking under the powerful influence of the gravity.

Think about what could it happen if their souls were very similar! They would have been together both in this world and in the other one (no matter what this could mean). And this is our dream. We all need to find somebody just like us. And that person ought to have all the qualities we have and expect from them, as well.

What happens when you choose a person different from yourself? Well, unfortunately, later or soon you begin to feel disappointed, you lose the admiration you used to feel and all ends up very painful.

I wonder why we feel attracted by the wrong persons. It is so difficult to make the right decision. On the other hand, once made, the action is quite irreversible. It takes more than courage and great effort to come back on your feet again, because it will always remain a wound or, if you are lucky, a scar in your soul.

I have a wound and I hope that it will become a scar in short time from now on. I have to learn to be strong, to learn to avoid waiting for my life to pass, being interested only by the moments when I could see your eyes, wondering whether you know my name, wondering whether you remember me just a little bit. It's amazing how a person whom you didn't even touch so far could step so deep into your world, becoming a part of you, isn't it?

But all that is born later or soon will die. And so will happen to our feelings. What may be painful today could make you smile tomorrow, because Everything Changes.

Blog notes II

A great teacher of mine used to say that by reading you will estrange yourself from Death. I am saying that not only by reading, but also by writing you will estrange yourself from Death. Do you know why? Because what is written will always remain. Your deepest thoughts, your inner feelings will take shape and everybody will have access to them, will agree or disagree, will have a natural empathy or even the opposite. Even though once written, the words will not belong to you anymore, but to those who will use them when reading your ideas, a little piece of your heart will be there, embodied in the letters.

I must confess that I am not writing to get away from Death. What is Death? Probably we will never know for sure. It could be an ending but also a beginning, because every ending is a beginning of something different. And that something different could be even much better than our ordinary lives.

Have you ever thought about what could it happen when the body fails to support the energy of our souls? Well, the body remains in its position (and it becomes no longer important) and the spirit will be searching for something better. I am saying better, because we ought to believe that it will be an evolution (not an involution).

Think about this passing to a different level. It could be a painful process, or not. If not, you will probably notice the difference at some time or other. If there is great pain, think about it as a natural state. The pain generated by a damaged body could be the same as the pain that a new-born child (or an unborn child) may feel. So, the agony of the alteration and the ecstasy of the regeneration will merge.

As I have already said, I am not writing to estrange myself from Death. I am doing that in order to heal my soul, to escape from the obsession of an image both afflicting and beloved. I need to educate myself, to get away from the strong desire of looking into those capricious eyes that could send me in Heaven or Hell. There is a long way out but I hope I will eventually have my soul healed.

Blog notes I

I always liked to travel by bus. I find really interesting sitting and watching people around me, especially in the morning. Everyone looks so preoccupied, so absorbed in thoughts. I wonder whether they are married or single, whether they have got any children, whether there is somebody in the evening waiting for them to come home. It's such a good feeling to come home knowing that there is someone who is waiting for you, or somebody who ought to come.

I wonder whether people have dreams. Are they fighting for an ideal? Do they wake up in the morning with the feeling that this day will be the one in which they will accomplish what they set out to do? I wonder how much their work is worth. Do they like what they are doing or it's just an everyday routine? Are they allowed to create? Are they willing to create? Are they searching for something that has not been found so far? Or, are they waiting for the next day to come, hoping that it will be a lucky one? Do they write history or their fate is already written?

Have you ever got the feeling that you know very well somebody you just met? Have you encountered a person, a stranger, to whom you changed a few words, having the feeling that you know that person for years? Or, have you felt that you needn't talk to that person, because their blue look was more than enough? Why is it happening? Perhaps because you have already found everything you need to know about that person, and all the rest is worthless stuff.

Then, why do you live all your life with a person without knowing their soul, their deepest feelings?

Few things that ought to be universally acknowledged

All our lives we are searching for something. It could be something related to money, fame, knowledge or, why not, Love. But the real problem with us is that we are never satisfied with our achievements. We will always make the effort to gain fortune, to become important persons and to have a personal life, as well, but it will never be enough. We will always want more. And do you know why? Because this is human nature. We will always be fond of what we don't have or what is extremely difficult to be obtained.

In my case, material temptation didn't influence my life at all. My interest is above all this attempts to make the life easier (which seem to be so important for most of people). But the real thing that did influence my existence is the strong desire of being an educated person. I always wanted to know more than everybody around me. This is the reason why I dedicated my life to study.

To acquire knowledge I made big sacrifices - I sacrificed my time and my energy in order to get something more important: the state of perfection. Unfortunately, I am aware that even if I do know more than the people around me, I don't know anything really important. Why? Because the human condition is extremely limited. And it is obvious that we ought to invest more than time and effort to get beyond the common.

That reminds me of Faust, that legendary character, symbolizing the strong desire of transcending human condition by means of reason. This character represents mankind's effort to get the state of completion and perfection.

Faust had sold his soul to the Devil in exchange for knowledge and power. It sounds equitable for me, because without the Pact, he would never found out the great mysteries that would always remain unrevealed to mortals.

Faust made the supreme sacrifice (he assumed the nothingness risk) in order to gain unlimited knowledge.

Can we do something similar? Can we give up our condition for something different that could define us in a different manner?